KONSTAS Jokes

[KONSTAS]

Moses, Christ and a falcon play golf on paradise.

The Moses ball falls into the water. He makes one move, divide the waters and go to the ball.
It hits it and puts it in the hole.


The ball of Christ falls into the water.
He then walks over the waters, hits the ball and puts it in the hole.


The old man's ball falls in the water.
A fish swallows it.
Then an eagle catches the fish and stands up.
The fish shakes and falls down.
The ball from the fall comes out of his mouth. So that the fish is shuffling, it hits it with the tail and the ball enters the hole.

Then Christ says:



- Father, we said, but not so!

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

This anecdote was said by the (then) Soviet Union ambassador to television.
God and the Greeks
When God shared the world, he told all the peoples he had made to go through the week to choose a country to live.
"I accept until Saturday" cleared them. "I will rest on Sunday".
Monday morning the Germans ran and queued up. The first day of the deadline. And so it gave them a nice and big country in the heart of Europe.
After a while, the Chinese came. Uniformly dressed and in line. They were wealthy and gave them China.
On Tuesday, French, Italians, English, Portuguese, Swedes, Americans, Canadians. They all got from a country.
Wednesday all Africans with their colorful clothes. He gave them all the beautiful Africa and told them to share it.
The Aborigines went on Thursday. He gave them Australia.
On Friday, after finishing with bureaucracy, the Russians went. After seeing what the others got, they agreed and took the frozen but beautiful Russia.
On Saturday came all the other races and nations and they took that out.
On Saturday night, late, the Gypsies arrived with all their children. God told them that they were late and nothing left. Was there a lot to put them in? However, because it was within the deadline, it allowed them to go to whatever country they want and stay with their residents. And so they spread everywhere.
On Sunday God sat to rest happy
In the afternoon he sees out of his door a crowd shouting to open him! The Greeks were, as usual, late and as soon as the backyards entered:
b ???? Open My God, please, we also want a homeland.
b ???? What do you want kids here? We did not say that I'm having a rest on Sunday;
b ???? We know our God, but we messed up the dates. Do not let us please you without our own homeland like the gypsies? We are all households.
b ???? Well, guys, why did not you come early? Now there is nothing. No inch. I have shared them all.
b ???? My God, we are guilty, we saw that he had a lot of space and we said that he would go too for us. And we waited for a little people to break in order not to wait in the queues? We have so many great minds, we have a lot to do and give the world not to leave us without a homeland. We may be slow, but if you give us us, we will defend it with our lives.
b ???? What to tell you guys? (God said scratching his head). And you guys are me and you are the smartest, but there is really no other place!
b ???? Please.
b ???? Good. Then I will give you a very small piece that I kept for myself (!!!)

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

-What do you want for the New Year?
-- A dragon

- Something more realistic?
-- Work

- Where do you live;
-- Greece

- Do you want it with 1 or 2 heads?

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson went to camp. So when they ate and drank their wine in the evening, they fell to sleep. Suddenly, in the black midnight, Sherlock slaps Watson.
- Watson, wake up. Look over and tell me what you see.
- What to see, Mr. Holmes? Millions of millions of stars.
- And what conclusion do you make of it?
- Look: Astronomically, I conclude that there are millions of galaxies in the universe and therefore an infinite number of stars and planets. Astrologically, the scorpion must be in Leo. Hourly, it must be about three and a quarter at dawn. Meteorologically, it will probably be good tomorrow. Theologically, I conclude that God is omnipotent and that we are an infinitesimal and insignificant part of the universe. What do you conclude, Mr. Holmes?
- That they stole our scene, hell!

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

Why are New Year's Carols so incomprehensible?
Archimandy and Archichronia
My tall rosemary (*)
And start our good time
Church with the holy dome (*)
Santa Claus is coming
And he does not accept us (*)
From Caesarea
You are a lady (*)
He holds pen and paper
Confectionary fermentor (*)
Paper and Squid Paper
See also with the lad (*)
Our story takes place in Byzantium. In those times the poor and low-strung people did not have the right to speak to the aristocrats except at feasts where they could have wished them.
So a young man of humble descent was in love with a maid of honor. Because she was not socially acceptable to approach her only during a festive season to make her wish, she decided among the carols of the Great Kingdom to incorporate an erotic poem she had composed! It starts and puts intermediate lyrics (those with the stars).
That way, the carols would say by following the social rules but at the same time they would be doing their good ..!
He calls her tall, like a tree-lion. Because she wore one of the tall conical hats with the tulle at the top, she likes it with Ecclesia with the Holy dome (church dome). He tells him that he does not accept him (Santa does not have to!) Because he is a lady lady.
Finally it closes with the gales! She tells her a sugarcane fermentor, that is made of sugar (my sweetness) and asks her to take a look. So these strange Carols have passed from generation to generation and became the most widespread in the whole of Greece.
Good Year, Sugar Confectioner!

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

The signs after the meeting ..

Aries: Fine,
we go back to the beginning ...

Taurus: I'm hungry ... grab the pizza ...

Gemini: Did you see the remote control anywhere?

Cancer: When Do We Get Married?

Leo: All right? I do not play ...

Virgo: I have to wash the sheets

Libra: I liked you if you liked ...

Scorpio: I have the feeling that I have to "solve" you ...

Sagittarius: Do not call me, I'll take you

Capricorn: A! Do you have credit?

Aquarius: Now let's try it without clothes

Pisces: How did we say they are telling you?

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

There is a football match between national Brazil and the Pontian National.
The score is 7-0 in favor of Brazil.
It is a phase outside the Pontian region and Brazil fouls in a very good position. The players are laid walls under the watchful eye of the goalkeeper.
At the last minute, however, the players are turning the walls and looking to the end. The goalkeeper shouts:

- "What are you doing? Turn from the other."

And a player on the wall answers:

- "What do you say he was smart? And to lose the collar?

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

SOCIALISM : You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM : You have 2 cows, the government gets both and gives you some milk.
PHASE: You have 2 cows, the government gets both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM : You have 2 cows, the government takes them and kills you.
BUREAUCRACY : You have 2 cows, the government gets both, kills one, milk the other, and finally flies milk ...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALIZATION : You have 2 cows, sell one, buy a bull, multiply the flock, and the economy grows smoothly. Then you sell the whole flock, you become an income and you live better.
AMERICAN ECONOMY : You have 2 cows, sell one and force another to produce the milk corresponding to 4 cows. Later, you hire an expert to analyze the reasons why the cow broke.
FRENCH ECONOMY : You have 2 cows and strikers because you want 3.
YOUNG ECONOMY : You have 2 cows and redesign them so that they have the 1 / 10 of their size and produce 20 times more milk. Then you design a smart cartoon, you call it COWKEMON and sell it all over the world.
GERMAN ECONOMY : You have 2 cows and redesign them so that they live 100 years, eat once a month and self-handle.
ITALIAN ECONOMY : You have 2 cows but you do not know where it is, so you take a break for food.
RUSSIAN ECONOMY : You have 2 cows, count and you learn that you actually have 5. You remeasure them and you learn that you have 42. The third time you learn that you have two again. Then stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMY : You have 2 cows, 300 people to milk them, you claim to ensure full employment and high productivity, and you capture the reporter announcing the above numbers.
HELLENIC ECONOMY : You have 2 cows, you say you have 20 and you receive community subsidies for 200, by losing the public servant and the local MP, buying mores, studios and maisonette in Kifissia,
do you declare bankrupt with Katselis law, do you vote for ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? which they make to the Greek people.
INDUSTRIAL ECONOMY : You have 2 cows and you just love them.
BRITISH ECONOMY : You have 2 cows and are both crazy.

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

Some Christmas I bought my mother-in-law for a grave gift in a nice cemetery.
Next year I did not buy her for a gift. When she asked why, I said,
b ???? Oh, but you did not use the gift I made last year!

And so the fight began

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

One day my wife asked me
- << My love, what does television have >> ????
- "Two fingers of powder", I answered her.

And so the fight began

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

Proverbs for Yannis!
-Giannis I had, Giannis and I will ever drink again, Yanni will turn around
-How are you John; beans I sow
- We have not seen him yet
-If Giannides had knowledge, they would have lent us a cambose
- Burning Yannis, honey for you to bark
- Burn Yannis, brush up oil
-Cone cedar, make Antonis and Plana Thanasis, if you say about John, any wood to make
-When John can not, when his ass hurts
-You're good at John and we do not ask John
- Forty-five Yanks of a cognac knowledge
-Giannis wins, John drinks
-Which you had John what I always had
-Goannis harvested the grapevine and the grain Yiannis
-Do Yannis b? | Yiannakis
-Giannis went, Giannis came
-Trake Yanni was on his way, and Nicholas hurts
-You listen Maria b ???? Giannis, put fish in the pan
-Mother not only gave birth to Mario Giannis
-John and God the grace
-You make Yanno with your work, and then again yours
Where wedding and table and Giannakis in the middle
-With the janitor and his girlfriends
-A whole day kalogianni and the night cacoyanni
-You'll be Yannis the elusive
-Your Giannis is missing
-All people talk about the chariots and John for the pie
-You like John Giannaki, and Yannakina Yannis
-You like John Hashanis
-You love my job and Yannis is not for a pitch
-Oxo John in Suleiman
-Giannis was riding a horse and the horse was hurting

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: KONSTAS UNLIMITED

The 4 woman's favorite animals

1. A jaguar in the garage.
2. A fox in the wardrobe.
3. A tiger in bed.
4. A ox to pay for it.

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

A British citizen also submitted his tax return to the question: "How many people do you owe?" He completed the following answer:
- 2,1 million illegal immigrants,
- 4,4 million unemployed,
- 900.000 criminals at 85 Prison,
- 650 stupid in parliament,
- All of the European Commission.
The Tax Office returned it by saying that his answer was unacceptable.
The citizen then came back with the question:
"Did I forget someone?"

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

DIFFERENCES of a woman's beer

01. You can enjoy a beer all month.

02. Stains of a beer are washed.

03. You do not have to have a beer to eat.

04. Your beer always waits patiently in your car.

05. When a beer is empty you throw it away.

06. A beer is never late.

07. A bad drunkenness passes.

08. A beer is never jealous if you catch another beer.

09. The beer labels come out without difficulty.

10. When you go to a BAR you know you can always get a beer.

11. A beer never has a headache.

12. A beer does not bother you when you go home and smell another beer.

13. If you lower a beer correctly you make a head.

14. You can get over one beer the night without guilt.

15. A beer always comes down easily.

16. You can share a beer with your friends.

17. When you get rid of a bad beer the thought of another beer does not get you sick.

18. You always know if you are the first to open a beer.

19. A beer is always wet.

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

The public prosecutor in the court of a small provincial city calls his first witness, a grandmother around 80, and asks in a completely professional manner:
- ???? Do you know me Mrs. Theodorou?
- ???? And of course I know you, Mr. Alexiou, the old woman says. I know you from a little kid and I have to admit you have disappointed me. You lie, you constantly deceive your wife, you are gossiping your customers. Of course I know you!
The lawyer is completely abhorred by the unexpected reply of the candy and not knowing what else to say, shows with his finger on the other side of the room and says:
- Do you know the defense lawyer?
- ???? Oh yes, and I know Mr Sofopoulos, the martyr answers again. I was holding him when he was a baby and I can say that he too has disappointed me. He is a mistress and a poker player, can not make a relationship with anyone and is one of the worst lawyers of our city!
At this point, the president beats his hammer at the headquarters, interrupts the proceedings and calls both lawyers to approach the headquarters. As they approach, they bend forward and tell them in a low voice:
- ???? Whoever hurts you from both of you asks if she knows me, she threw her !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

NASA decides to send the first man to the moon.

So he goes to the German astronaut.
NASA: Hello, we are from NASA and we want to send the first man to the moon, how much do you want to go ??
German: 1 million euro.
NASA: Why so much?
German: sit down kids on the moon I'm going to go.I got nothing to leave five francs
In my family.
NASA: Well, we'll think about it ....

Go to the French astronaut.
NASA: Hello from NASA and we want to send the first man to the moon, how much do you want
go??
French: 2 million euro.
NASA: Why so much? The German wanted 1.
Frenchman: sit down on the moon I'll go. If I get anything I do not let one in my family.
NASA: and the other;
Frenchman: Do not share one with my mistresses?
NASA: Well, we'll think about it ...

And the Greek ...



NASA: Hello, we are from NSAA and we want to send the first man to the moon, how much do you want to go ??
Greek: 3 million I'm fine !!
NASA: Why so much? The German wanted 1, the French wanted 2, you because 3 ????


Greek: Look at our work here in Greece ...
1 million will get you to give me the job
1 million will get me ... and
1 million will give German to go to the moon ...

 

[account]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

This is what Schauble reads, and we are crying.

 

[giannisthegreek]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

Yes ... well the Germans are in the remixes

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

Three pensioners sit in the cafe:

- Thanasis: Let kids I did not expect that I would get this way.
The day before, my granddaughter asked me to read it and did not see the letters.
Who I hit a bird at two hundred yards.

- Costas: Where can you see what happened to me?
I went to see a friend, Mitcho staying on the first floor, only seventeen stairs and I bumped.
Who I Were Running Marathon for Warm Up!

- Achilles: And to tell you what I have done.
Last night Svetlana came to clean up my house.
She climbed the ladder, I looked down from below.
He has one body ...
I took it down the ladder, one brought the other and we did it!
When we're done, she turns angry and tells me.
Aman Pan Panos third time today, what have you got! You saw guys, I forget, I forget ...

 

[KONSTAS]

Answer: Konstas Jokes

A COMPANY EMPLOYER IS FORMER TO THE DIRECTOR OF THIS MESSAGE:
Dear Governor
In this life I want them to be very well known. I believe that I can make the effort I am paying out of the money and the good faith I keep on your points.
I believe that I realized my ton of credit and I believe in your timely response.
M € appreciate
€ € €


THE DIRECTOR'S REPLY:
Dear Mr. Eleftherias
The company is in a characteristic of the times. Exogenous factors, as dangerous NOs, are subject to heavy fluctuations, making the situation difficult and the effort must be multilateral. I believe that I can understand without creating thoughts.
Sincerely Yours
Director b. |
SJ: I will be at my weekend if you need something.